Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
Locked out of the apartment with just a box of wine way to begin the weekend.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
His dick is pure magic - dark, powerful, beautiful magic. It's the Elder Wand of penises
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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