3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
isn't that the guy who always buys you drinks?
yeah. i love a man who still buys me drinks after the bar cuts me off.
next time on intervention
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
I fucked his roommate. And that roommate's best friend. And my roommate. And my roommate's old roommate.
i'm bowing down, but slow your roll.
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
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