It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
U asked everyone for their hoodies so u could "safely hug the cactus"
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
I have a spatula mark on my ass. He spanked me with a spatula. Take that Rachel Ray.
wtf I can't believe that bar tender told on me to my mom
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
