there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Dude, nobody just eats a banana these days. This chick wanted it. She wanted to get down with Charlie Brown.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
He literally took a shit in my bathroom and then broke up with me.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
I'm home now if you wanna come over.
Sloane just tried to lick my eyeball. I'm going to regain my composure then I'll be there.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
dude it was our first time and her hair caught on fire from the candles on the nightstand
There is no way that actually happened!
the smell of burnt hair covered up the sweaty sex smell.
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