It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
he said i was the most charming throwing up drunk person hes ever taken care of. so of course i had sex with him.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
I vaguely remember seeing that couple making out in front of that store and i yelled "I ALSO LOVE THE ROCKY MOUNTAIN SOAP COMPANY!"
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
*6am blends another margarita* *615am blends straight tequila*
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize