if i can run in heels then i can drive
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
she named each of the players on the last ten madden covers in order and then shotgunned 2 beers...if she doesnt have a penis im in love
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
Oh, and I'm only keeping her around till spring. Doing the hunt for cunt is too tough in 12" of snow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
If we hadn't just agreed to no commitment, i'd totally propose right now. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
Randomize
