you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
No, I'm only going to drink half my paycheck. That's the responsible thing to do.
we've been at disney 20 seconds and she already got the cops called over
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Randomize
