rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I swear the pregnant cashier was jealous when I bought my plan B
You'd think somebody who rolls blunts like jesus himself could roll a god damn burrito
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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