i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Random question, but did I leave a spoon on your dresser last night?
If I had pants on, you wouldn't be getting this text message
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
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