maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
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