now everythime i write "i'm" in my phone my tap9 spells out "i'm-never-drinking-again". It's trying to remind me
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Your the only person I know that needed stiches after a Monday morning conference call. How are you in your 20s? How
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
excused from jury duty. THAT hungover...
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He gave his liver a pep talk before the vodka chugging started
Randomize
