How do I say "sorry I gave you and your sister herpes" in German?
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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