How young is too young to ask my kid to make me a drink?
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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