Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
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