You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
He brought her home and fucked her in a gingerbread man costume in a cardboard rapunzel castle. He had a pretty good night.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Dicks are not precious.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
Randomize
