I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm here. Help me get the salsa and bong inside.
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
