Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
Looked like a bag of smashed assholes and smelt like a brewery - still got morning sex. Marriage rules sometimes!
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
Randomize
