he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
I'm at this kids house trying to figure out if I pissed in his kitchen new years eve. Lmao, stop letting me drink.
She told me I made the cut, and to write my name and number on the white board by the door. I was the 7th number down.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
I skipped the handshake and went right for a dickshake I had him minutes after I saw him.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Randomize
