I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
Haha at least the one I have like that you can't tell we are completely drunk and you're about to kick a glass out of my hand in a fit of joy over pizza.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
He's got a british accent, a tounge ring, and he's wearing an eye patch... Of corse I'm fucking him
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
The only thing good about being back at work is the lunch time hand jobs from the MILF
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