its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I can't hookup with a guy in my car because it smells like Taco Bell..
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
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