so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
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