if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
My own vomit just splashed me in the face. How's your day going
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
Its not personal, its just business. I'm the Donald Trump of blowjobs.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
