Soap is not a condiment
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
YOU'RE NOT THE ONE BEING EVISCERATED BY YOUR OWN UTERUS SO GET SOME DAMN SLEEP YOU FOOL!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
