he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
There's something really special about 3:00 in the afternoon drunk that just can't be duplicated at any other time of day.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
