do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
We had sex and then he fed me pie. This is the best friends-with-benefits situation ever.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
I am so hung over a medically induced coma is beginning to sound appealing.
I'm chatting with a girl missing a front tooth. I find it quite distracting. I'm sure you have deduced what bar I'm drinking in on this monday night.
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
Enjoy the penises
Randomize
