I reminded them that I didn't puke and I cleaned yours up! So huh!
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
I'm getting the lip of my vagina pierced & you expect ME to be the voice of reason?
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
you were shouting "me peeing on him is the closest he'll EVER get to my vagina!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
