She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
She's got a butler. A fucking butler. Shes like batman, but with a better ass.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
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