Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Got blown by one of the bridesmaids. Family BBQ today. They all know. Talk about awkward.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
My mom and my boss just had a discussion on FB about the sexual habits of old people. The magic of the Internet.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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