Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
First of all you're supposed to say "you're not fat". And second of all never ever deprive me of nachos.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
I've never been more scared for my virginity in my life. And I lost my virginity almost 6 years ago.
Sometimes a man just deserves to get woken up with a blowjob.
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
