I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
You're in the clear; you and Andrew did not joint fingerbang that girl on the dance floor last night.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
I just woke up on the floor with an empty handle in one hand and a piece of my ceiling in the other. #classy
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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