I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Thanks for takin my cousin out last night, sorry I passed out so early
You kidding, the kids a legend. He literally killed a bottle of Jamison, made out with a girl AND her Mom at the bar, stole us slices of pizza and told the cab driver where to go in Spanish. He doesn't even live in the area. Can we keep him?
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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