they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
I'm so hungover that if we go to panera, I'll probably get a bread bowl to throw up in.
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
I find him attractive in the absolute weirdest way. Like I need him to do my taxes, but I also feel like I should spill things on him to gain his attention and then lick it off to gain his affection.
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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