I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
you kept shouting how the only tree you would hump is an elm tree because they're under populated
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
It's okay. I think we're back on. I just went on a dog walk with him n blew him on a sidewalk
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
Can I get my morals surgically removed?
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
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