don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
sleeping like a two year old who chased ambien with a bottle of whiskey.
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
His ex-girlfriend just gave his current girlfriend the heimlach omg omg omg help this is so awkward
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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