break up sex still means we will always be broken up.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
Yah, I definitely wouldn't wanna be fingered with a fake arm...
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
You yelled "Shame!" like you were that bitch from Game of Thrones and then hit my balls full force with your sports bra
Randomize
