party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
I just my had my first cup of coffee in a week. I think I might orgasm.
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
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