No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
Everyone thinks I'm sleeping but I'm actually just melting.
Yeah I blacked out in a wiener costume.... I think I'm ready to come home now.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Is it appropriate to be taking shots at 11 on sunday?
Absolutely same thing as church only different
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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