Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Yes she scared me. She had NIPPLE CLAMPS ATTACHED TO A STUN GUN.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Grab some lube and condoms and you get a free shirt? College is weird
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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