dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
I'm convinced my penis is the only thing holding this relationship together.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
Randomize
