He’s a liberal pot smoker and perfect for me. He invented a game where we have to smoke a joint every time you hear a Middle Eastern accent on NPR.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
I didn't get a chance to take any pics but the mental snapshot of her boyfriend calling her directly after we finished was a really special moment I wish I could properly share with you.
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I hid a TracFone in her bra. We'll find her tomorrow.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
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