so apparently I plead the 5th to every question they asked me when they put me under the conscious sedation to set my broken wrist
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
If sex isn’t mentioned at least three times at the dinner table, I’m not interested...
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