No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
I just realized I use Twitter to keep of track of when I get drunk.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
