I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
Hippo gnu deer
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
The weed is temporarily burning the grammar section of my brain library.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
