Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
I don't text first unless I'm hammered...so ya I text first a lot
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
