Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
You're my little dorito
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
he spent an hour trying to convince us that Ted Nugent is Kid Rock from the future. by the end of it i was very close to believing him.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
