the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
i think i just lost a toe
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
I am mentally ready for anal.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
