Awkward is getting caught beating off in the company bathroom...
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
Just bought plan b at 8am. Then the cashier asked if I wanted to donate to the children's miracle network. Fml
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