With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
He got too drunk... he threw up ON the closed toilet.
It's a Jersey thing
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
Does sweetest day count when you're spending it with your fuck buddy, high and eating Pizza Hut?
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
