I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
Apparently, "please don't I have to be in court tomorrow" is not a valid excuse for a girl to abstain from giving a massive hickey.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I just want a man in my bed on a regular basis, who cuddles, and who I can also occasionally hang out with outside of my bedroom. Is that too much to ask for?
Randomize
