my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
I don't remember... but I heard a cop threatened to pepper spay my dick
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
COCAINE AND SUSPENSFUL BBC SHOWS DO NOT WORK.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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