Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
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