I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Yep. How's your hangover?
It's like I fucked its sister and it's getting back at me.
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
Come to find out, there is a place where binge drinking and aggressive head butting is completely appropriate. In a mosh pit, Travis is just a regular dude!
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
Randomize
